May 20 - Things you can pretend are a telephone.

"Yes, I ordered the Sports Illustrated Football Phone,

but instead I received the fresh Cucumber phone.

I believe there's been some sort of error?"

"Oh I see. 

The Sports Illustrated football phone will arrive tomorrow?  

With the Swimsuit Issue and the video 

The Stanley Cup 50 Years of Glory?  

Excellent!"

Now, what do I do with this cucumber?